A eulogy speech is not something that you will write every day. More than likely it is a task that you will write at most once or twice in a lifetime. As if the fact that it is not something that you do every day would not be enough, it can also be a high pressure event; writing any type of speech under that type of pressure while at the same time dealing with grief can be very challenging for anyone. It is therefore very understandable that writing a funeral speech can leave you looking for additional help due to writer’s block.
Taking Your Time
Usually you will know the amount of time that you have in order to write the funeral speech. In most cases, you will have a couple of days so no rushing will be necessary. This is the time when you want to take notes and think about the things that you need to say. If you are having issues with the writing then there are several examples of eulogies spread through the internet. Using one to give you ideas is perfectly fine. Make sure that you do not copy the text on the samples that you use. They are only meant as a guideline.
Working In Stages
You do not have to nor are you expected to come up with the speech all at once. Working in stages allows you to envision the speech and get everything right. You should begin with taking notes and then make your first rough draft. After the rough draft, you can take some time off and then look at it to see what corrections you need to make. Taking your time by going in stages will create some distance between you and the speech and allow you to see anything missing from the eulogy.
No Time To Look For Greatness
You are looking to give a good eulogy speech but it does not have to be the speech of a lifetime. Even if it is an important speech such as eulogy for father or for a dear friend or family member, the speech has to be only sufficient so that people can connect to you and to the deceased. It is not like you are learning how to write a eulogy in a class or a paid course though those are available if necessary. You do not have to be as good as Martin Luther King to be memorable.
Use Additional Help
Besides using the many eulogy examples online, there are other tools which are available for you. There are eulogy writing tutorials that can help you when doing this for the first time. Because it is not easy to keep all your thoughts together, using this type of courses will help you make sense of all your thoughts. Courses for eulogy writing will also give you a way to organize yourself and give you tips on the things you do not want to forget. Though these are courses, they are short enough that you could do them in just a couple of hours.
Funerals are a way to celebrate the person who just passed away while at the same time attempting to help his or her family members get through the grief. Though a little humor is almost expected, it is not appropriate to go negative or to tell inappropriate jokes. You should look to be honest and at the same time try to be as loving and positive about the deceased as possible. If you have any doubt about the appropriateness of a statement you want to make, perhaps you want to reconsider and rewrite it so that you have no doubt about its inclusion.
It Is Okay To Be Emotional
When you attend a funeral it is one of those cases when you have a green light about becoming emotional and when you give a speech such as a eulogy, it would be rare for someone not to get emotional. Being a little emotional during a funeral speech can even be considered therapeutic for some so do not be afraid of showing your feelings when giving that sort of speech. A eulogy example will not prepare you for emotions so you should be ready to prepare yourself.
Examples of eulogies will give you a lot of ideas but one common theme is that they will be mostly short. A eulogy should not be a long and drawn out speech. Anything over three minutes, in fact, is just a bonus. You want a lot of important information and anecdotes in your speech but they should be touching and meaningful while at the same time short. Keeping the speech short is also a great way to help you control your feelings and prevent breaking down in the middle of the speech.
A eulogy speech is a time to be positive, especially when talking about the deceased. Keep negative stories or things that would put the deceased in a negative light out of the speech. If everybody who helps you check your speech mentions that a trait cannot be avoided, such as stubbornness, try to make light of the fact but not in a negative fashion. Make it a fun little statement and do not focus on it during your speech. After you mention it, make sure to go back to positive things that you can say about the deceased.
Know Your Feelings
As stated earlier, this is a very emotional time and a very emotional role that you have to play at the funeral. If you are a person who cannot control his or her feelings that much, meaning it is very possible that you will break down and cry, you should have someone ready to take over the speech giving duties. If you feel at one point that you are not able to continue with the speech yourself, then you should call on the person ready to take over right away. Though having someone as a backup can take some of the pressure off of you.
Some speech writers will tell you to stick to a certain set of rules including that you should make a powerful speech but not to get too emotionally involved with it. A eulogy is a time to actually speak from the heart because a lot of people at the funeral know how you feel and expect to hear just that. If you speak from the heart, then you cannot go wrong. Your sincerity in fact will make the speech a lot more memorable and special in the minds of those attending.
Have It Checked With Other People
A lot of us when giving a speech are almost afraid of sharing the speech beforehand with others for fear that it will be judged by them. A eulogy is the time to actually share the speech with a few people and listen to constructive criticism. Listen to the advice that others give you and take note on things most people say that you should change. Sharing it with three or four close family members may be the perfect way to ensure that your speech is as good as it can be.